Quitting

I could cry. Well, more accurately, I want to go back to crying again...like I was earlier tonight, but I will act like a grown-up, I will...I will... We've come to an interesting intersection for us. I have been working at PM for almost 3 years now, and I have LOVED it! My boss is the kind of boss you spend all your time wishing you had, thinking about while you secretly curse your evil manager when he's not looking. My boss actually cares about me, is incredibly generous with time off, and insanely fair in the work place. The problem is...I've reached the point in our work-employee relationship that PM is no longer the place for me. Not only no longer the place, but it is actually starting to make me an anxious, irritated mess. Not exactly what I need. AND, I was just given a revised job offer, originally meant to be part-time my new job offer is for a full-time position...one that actually pertains to what I want to do after I have a Masters, mastered. Not just a job either, but one I really REALLY wanted! The problem is that while the employee is ready to quit and leave, I harbor major guilt over abandoning my friends and boss. I've discovered that's the problem about having a job you love, you can't just nonchalantly walk to the back and tell em "thanks, but I believe I'm done here". I have actually shed big, sad, crocodile tears at the mere thought of having to tell them "these next two weeks will need to be my last two". I feel guilty, ungrateful, irresponsible, and half-crazy. *sigh* But I am writing it out here, hoping for some kind of release. Maybe if I write this I will not cry half as much tomorrow when I try to explain my thought process and needs to his confused and worried face.

Or maybe I'll get lucky, and find out I don't mean half as much to him. Maybe he'll just say "alright. two weeks", turn and go on about his business. Then I could move on about mine.

...........except I think that would be much, much worse.......