Ladgy GAGA, Frousins & Pregnancy

Only 1 week in, and April is easily one of my favorite months so far in 2011! (Though I have my suspicions that October will blow April out of the water!) To back track a few months, at Christmas Adam's "big" gift to me was a shiny, mirrored mask...:

to copy this.....

Confused, I flipped the mask over and on the back it read "Merry Christmas, We're going to GAGA April 4th Tulsa, OK" I nearly suffocated him with my over-excited hugs! You have NO IDEA how much I LOOOOOOVE her! Anyone that knows my dear Mother, this is like her going to a Michael Jackson concert....(ok, this is also kind of like me going to a Michael Jackson concert, but like Mother like daughter....she was terribly jealous of the Gaga treat) Fast forward to last weekend and you get one of the best weekends I've experienced so far.

We headed off to Oklahoma Saturday, and spent the weekend playing and relaxing with my "frousin" Shannon & her 19mo tot Meg. Unfortunately, Kyle wasn't home as we had hoped he would be, though Adam fared alright even with his split food trips ("k, we want lunch from here...sides from here...drinks from here....should we write this down?") and back seat job as Meggie's buddy. He really is quite a good sport. :) With trips to the zoo, afternoon naps, late night talks, and plenty of meals out it was a wonderful mini-vacation. Adam even ferried Meg around Kohls for us so that Shannon & I could try on some new maternity wear without having to worry about a bored lil' girl. At one point I came out of the dressing room to see Adam spinning Meg's stroller in fast circles, come to a stop and hear her cry out "more? more?" as she giggled. Adam has always been great with kids, but the more I watch him these days, the more excited I am to see him and Baby O, a child who doesn't yet know how lucky they'll be to have him. Here are a few pictures of Shannon & me, at 30wks and 14wks perspectively.

Monday afternoon we headed out to Tulsa to squeeze in Maternity Gap and dinner before our show. We made great discoveries at the Gap, and pretty much completed my maternity wardrobe. As for dinner....we got caught in rush-hour and got to the concert center just in time to use the bathroom and eat pretzels before the opening act. (Semi Precious Weapons) When I had found out we were going to go to Gaga I was so excited, and assumed, being a Gaga concert, we would be in the nose bleeds. Not my dear Adam! Our seats were phenomenal!!! You felt like you could reach out and touch her!!!!!!! How I love this man who indulges me so!!! I felt incredibly old most of the time, with a hand count's worth of trips to the bathroom, needing to sit during the opening act, and repeatedly asking Lady Gaga come out because I needed a nap... Once the countdown screen dropped with her opening video short, I forgot what I was complaining about...cue the squeals, screams, grins and repeated looks at Adam as if to say "OH MY GOD----SHE'S ABOUT TO COME ON STAGE!!!! CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?!!?" Thus began the best 2.5 hours of my life. (Ok, maybe not better then our wedding, but close) First of all, being Gaga, this was no ordinary concert, it was like going to a show, which makes sense since she's a theater geek. There were at least 7 set changes, a costume change nearly every song, use of trap doors, 'toasters', giant props and fire shooting brassieres. A-M-A-Z-I-N-G!!!! She spoke to the audience throughout, gladly accepted the fan gifts thrown on stage, thanking them and complimented one woman's talent with a jacket she made. Lady Gaga proceeded to wear said jacket for 2 songs, removing the one that was the original part of her costume. Adam and I rocked out (as did baby I'm sure!) with our "claws up" and danced to our very favorites. We were even treated to several songs she changed up as ballads for the show (such as Born This Way) and a preview of two new songs. For all of you wondering how my "poor husband" made it through 2.5hrs of Gaga...he kept leaning over asking "I wonder if she'll sing Alejandro?!" His favorite Gaga song...Come on people, you should know by now there's a reason we're such a good match!!! ;) After her two encores, Bad Romance and Born this Way, she and her dancers (whom she recognized after her very first song, as they had all been up 48hrs and finished shooting the music video for Judas at 6am that morning) took two theater/dance style bows, and stepped back together as the curtain dropped. I will never recover. I need to go to her concerts every year from now until forever.

Christmas & New Years & Travels, Oh My!

Please excuse my absence for the last several weeks, life has been a crazy whirlwind of activity, having Adam & I bouncing across the country and slowly re-settling into our life here in West Texas. We were lucky this year to spend Christmas with my family (sadly, with the exception of my Dad) in Hawaii.

This was our first trip back together since our engagement in August of 2007, and Adam's second

trip to the paradise I spent my childhood exploring.

It felt like an incredible gift to get to spend time with everyone, now that we are all grown and living so spread out. Ryan had just gotten back from a 3 month internship in Afghanistan working a land mind retrieval project, and will be finishing school in Hawaii, just as he said he would when he was in elementary school.

Mom & Dad are halfway through their second year in DC, and as you know Adam and I are still in Texas.

Time with my grandparents has always been important, with the amount of time we spent with them growing up they've always been more like a second set of parents, closer then most can imagine.

My grandfather is struggling with Parkinson's Disease and they now have 24hr CNA care at the house. It's difficult to see their world changing, but I'm glad they have the support and help they need, and that they're otherwise healthy. Pappy's CNA, Meila, is the perfect person for the job. A small Filipino woman in her late 50s, she fills the house with light laughter and soprano notes, bringing joy where there is often frustration.

For Christmas Day, we delayed opening packages until later in the morning, and were able to skype with Dad in DC on the television, it really felt as if we were all together. Adam shocked me with tickets to see Lady Gaga's Monster Ball concert this spring. I was so confused initially when I opened a mask covered in mirrors...I turned it over and there was our ticket information for the concert, and the realization that Adam had re-created the mask from "Poker Face".

For his present, Ryan and I took Pappy out for a burger and drinks at his favorite restaurant, Jameson's By the Sea, and had the chance to spend some alone time together. It was fun being able to have a "Pappy Day" like we did as kids, when he would take us to McDonalds and the movies.

Many days were spent lazing in the sun, and chatting in the house. Adam and I were lucky to spend a night downtown at a hotel just down from where we got engaged. We spent the day walking around downtown and bought him a new wedding ring (he's lost the last two) made of Koa wood and titanium, to always remind us of where we started to become a family. We were able to capture a picture of us in the exact spot he proposed years ago, compared to the original, not much has changed.

Standing there caused me to be reminded that I am so lucky to be so intensely loved by such a beautiful and strong person. Sometimes, I seem to forget he, and his love, are a gift to be thankful for each day.

New Years Eve came, and so did the fireworks! Ryan had bought two crates of fireworks, and Adam bought some as well. We were up until 2am lighting off different sparkling, crackling, explosive treats, along with the rest of Hawaii. The sky was a hazy grey, lighting up in patterns across the sky for hours. As fun as it was, I certainly felt it the next morning when I competed in my very first, and very hilly 10k, the Bosetti. Up at 5am, Mom, Adam and I traveled down to Sandy Beach where I started my race, and was pretty sure I was going to die. But I didn't! I didn't quit, though my hip did twice, and though I didn't improve upon my time, I wasn't any worse either. I'll take it. It felt incredible to cross the finish line and know that I had just raced.

That I had competed in a run for miles and miles in this beautiful place as the sun rose, and I felt so alive! Of course, the three days following I swore I'd never run again! ;)

As sad as it was to leave, after two weeks away from home our bed was practically calling our name, and we were ready to see our "babies". With kisses, sadness and love, we said goodbye to my family and took the red-eye home to Texas; full of icy air, yellowed grass and roaming horses.

Home in Hawaii

My time in Hawaii has been busy, emotional and less familiar. The years we spent here growing up have made this place my second home. I know the neighborhood intimately, can navigate all over the island, and know all the places the tourists don't. But this trip, things are different. While Mom & I have been making a morning escape to the beach as usual, we are coming home to help my grandfather manage everyday tasks, talking to my grandmother about help & options, and trying to stay on top of all that needs to be accomplished.

It's been good to be here, but it's been a difficult trip, and not at all like the past. Though, just when it seems the joy is gone from this house, and I feel as though things are changed forever, I can hear from the other room "Harriet, will you get me some ice cream? 3 BIG scoops!", or perhaps "Geraldine, where is she hiding all the chocolate in this place?!". As long as I can remember my Pappy, I can remember not understanding his nicknames for me. And I love them. Geraldine & Harriet, used interchangeably, and while cousins were about, Jade & I made the pair Tuesday & Wednesday.

Leaving makes me sad, but Adam and I have plans for Christmas, and hopefully without a car to buy, or a move to make, we'll be able to do it this year!! The plan is to buy our tickets August 1st, so hold me to that! Until then, I leave my Mom here to help continue the work we all started and know that at least they have the CNA at the house 4hrs a day now, which is a start. Hopefully with the time and attention, he will be able to focus more on his physical therapy and regain some of his finer motor skills and strength. While my mind has been here these last two weeks, my heart has been racing back across the ocean daily with Adam in Amarillo, and I am really looking forward to seeing him again.

Fathers Day

Fathers Day weekend this year is a little different then those of the past. While I'm celebrating with my Dad, who is off in New England with my younger brother, I am lucky to have almost all my family here in Hawaii to celebrate with our patriarch, my Pappy. A weekend of cousins giggling in the distant bedroom, uncles cooking in the kitchen and grandparents beaming with the luck of having almost all of us here at once for the first time in years.

Jade & I were together often when we were younger, trips to my great-grandmother's in Pennsylvania, the first trip to Disneyland when we were toddlers, and many summers at my grandparent's on Oahu. The older we've gotten, the less we've seen each other, and it had been 5 years since we'd last gotten together. It didn't take long to start laughing and joking again, and was fun to include "baby" Sarah this time. Weekends like this make me incredibly grateful to have such a wonderful family, and strengthen my desire to have children, because I know how lucky our kids will be to come into a family like this.

A Good Kind of Morning

So, it's 9:43am here...if you're curious, though I did not go to bed until 12:00am (or 5am...) last night, I popped out of bed free of alarms at 7:45am. *sigh* My internal clock, it would appear, is set. I even tried to go back to sleep and had no luck. The only person up earlier then me was Uncle Craig, which is not much of a surprise. Was able to pass the usual granola and yogurt to have fresh pineapple and papaya for breakfast with the biggest cup of Kona coffee. Heaven in my mouth! I forget what fruit should really taste like until I'm here again. Had breakfast with Pappy, Nana and Craig. Was nice, especially because between Craig and me they were able to have a good breakfast while we filled bowls with fruit and cereal, found coffee, poured water and searched out straws. Pappy was totally different this morning, and after our conversation I remembered Mom mentioning that he was usually confused when sleepy. This morning he was completely alert and talking to me about our trip to the beach in the Carolinas, all our cross-country trips and everything. It was just a normal breakfast with Pappy, which made me feel so much better. Last night I was feeling pretty confused, and cried at dinner....A few silent tears, but they were still there. It was just hard to sit through dinner and hear the repeated confused statements that were connected to our conversation by the tiniest thread of sense. It's hard too to see how Nana tries to cope with all the struggles and hardship Parkinsons brings without being frustrated with Pappy. He did make me smile last night when we were talking about school, Pappy: "I wish I had paid more attention in school, I really should have." Sarah: "What do you mean?" Pappy: "Well for one thing, not being so girl crazy!" (Laughter) "No, really, you know your Nana and I started going together when we were 16!" Then, of course, Nana tells the famous story of Pappy faking sick and then stealing (or 'borrowing' as he insisted) his Dad's car to go visit Nana when he had no license.

Watching them you know that's how they're getting through this, they've been in love for more then 60 years, so this is just another challenge to walk together. I hope Adam and I will be lucky enough to count pills for each other and argue about how much raisin bran the other needs when we're almost 80. Seemingly annoyed but peppering conversation with nicknames and winks to let us know "I love you, you know".

Arrived

After the longest possible weekend of the summer so far, I'm finally here in Hawaii. Our good friend Cassandra and her son Gabe were visiting us Thursday and Friday, which was such a special treat! Then Saturday we got up early, early (5am to be exact) to drive to DFW. We wanted to make the rounds, and ended up fitting in Cynthia & Mark, Jen & Pat and a wonderful visit to Piccolo! Exhausted as we were, we then had to get up at 6am to get me to the airport on time to start my travels to Hawaii. All my flights when perfect, with very short layovers. It was funny, as much as I identify Hawaii as my second home, I never seem to remember quite how much myself I am here until I'm back to the place of my childhood summers and sunny Christmases. As we began to descend over the island the feeling that came over me was that of an invisible weight being lifted off of my shoulders and thinking in a small voice of relief, "home..." The only other time I experience this feeling is when I'm in a ballet class and take that first plié, and it's as if my body finally falls into itself. Like I've been hovering just beyond myself up until that point. I've missed it here. The smells, the colors, and the familiar roads. I was lucky enough to get to surprise my grandparents with my visit thanks to my wonderful Aunt & Uncle who picked me up, and kept my arrival a secret for a week! I snuck into the office where my Nana was working and said "Surprise!", waiting for her to whirl around, but instead she kept working. I tried again, a little louder, and got the same response. Finally, I walked right up to her, leaned down and said to her back, "Are you to busy for a surprise?" She immediately jumped and said "What are you doing here!?", hugged me, and then told me I should be glad she didn't have a heart attack. Pappy, in turn said "You're not real, you're a ghost!!" It feels good to be with my Ohana.

Hawaii

Most people that know me, know that I spent my childhood summers (and many other holidays) in Hawaii at my grandparents. As Ryan will tell you, I even 'stole' his idea and went to UH, although I ended up transferring to Dallas for a certain someone... ;) Hawaii has always been a special place for me and my family, and after my 24 summers there, it's no surprise. It's where I was baptized, where I learned to swim, summers of VBS and camping at the beach. The most recent trip to Hawaii was when Adam proposed to me. We had gone for two weeks, and spent our day doing my family's Friday traditions; we spent the day at Waimea, and saw the hula show downtown before dinner at my parent's favorite restaurant on the beach. After dinner we took a walk on the beach and Adam proposed in the moonlight in front of the Royal Hawaiian Hotel. (where as a child we went to brunches). This place is my second home, and my grandparents mean a great deal to me after so much time together. This Sunday, I am heading up to visit them for the first time in 2 years, the longest time I've ever been away. Adam will stay behind this time, though we're both going in December. Mom & I will be going on our own, which is also a first since I was about 14.

My grandparents are getting older, and things are getting harder for them to do. Gone are the days of Pappy throwing us back over front in the Ocean, or Nana making doll cakes and asking us about our day. Days are more relaxed now, and slower paced. I seem to forget how much time has gone by until I'm back. Although now I opt for the lounge chair instead of the fun noodle, and Ryan is laying out on the mat instead of skimming the waves for hours on end. It's strange to be there year after year, with so much the same and everything different.