Miss Margaret

My cousin, and friend, Shannon had her beautiful baby this past Friday, 8/28/09. They chose not to find out the sex of the baby and rather be surprised. Shannon was convinced she was carrying a little boy, but surprise surprise, it was a beautiful baby girl! Margaret Lillian VanHeest came into the world at 9lbs 13oz and 22in! She is gorgeous, and is going to break all sorts of hearts! Adam and I were able to go up Sunday and visit them all. It was especially exciting since my Aunt and Uncle were in town from South Carolina and visits with them are rare. Shannon looked beautiful and Kyle was beaming--they are going to be incredible parents. That little girl is so lucky to have them.

Adam painted a ceramic elephant bank for Margaret and we brought champagne for a toast. As Margaret began to cry, Kyle toasted "May she grow to be all the more intelligent, all the more beautiful....and...." then my Aunt Becky jumped in to finish it off "and out of this stage!". It was funny, every so often someone would joke "I guess this is pretty good birth control, huh?" but the thing was, it had just the opposite effect, it made me ache to be ready for that part of our lives.

Now, before you panic--read that again,I know we're not ready, and we won't rush into a lifetime commitment prematurely. Still, it's hard knowing so many of our friends are in that place already and we're not. When we left that night, our conversation in the car almost immediately turned to having children. We've had the conversation before, but it seemed alot more relevant this time. How many did we want, what were our hopes for our children, how did we think we'd handle pregnancy and parenting? I know Adam will be an incredible father, but I don't know what parenting will have in store for me...

Birthday

Happy Birthday to Me! :) Today was wonderful. Although I feel like there is nothing glamorous about turning 23, Adam made it a wonderful and special weekend. We spent the morning in Corinth at Cynthia & Mark's (his sister and brother-in-law) hanging out and eating lunch. For as close as we live, we never get to see each other-which is especially lame since we always have fun when we get together with them. At 2pm, we went to see the Broadway Tour of Mamma Mia--Adam's birthday surprise for me. Do gifts get any better then that?! No, they don't! Afterwards was dinner at....Piranhas (we're so predictable!) and an August birthdays party at the Reagans. We ended the night with a treat--live Mariachi music down the street. I am so not kidding, this guy was using a keyboard, microphone and speakers (facing out to the street)at 3am. Yes. So, we danced and hung out with the Mariachis. Good Day.

I quit

Well, I did it. I quit my job. I even cried a little bit. But he was really understanding--I think he kind of saw it coming. He'll be out of town the next 2 weeks, so that will be exhausting, but after that I'm done. I did tell him I will work a couple weekends if he needs me to until he finds someone else.....

YAY!!!!!!!!

Quitting

I could cry. Well, more accurately, I want to go back to crying again...like I was earlier tonight, but I will act like a grown-up, I will...I will... We've come to an interesting intersection for us. I have been working at PM for almost 3 years now, and I have LOVED it! My boss is the kind of boss you spend all your time wishing you had, thinking about while you secretly curse your evil manager when he's not looking. My boss actually cares about me, is incredibly generous with time off, and insanely fair in the work place. The problem is...I've reached the point in our work-employee relationship that PM is no longer the place for me. Not only no longer the place, but it is actually starting to make me an anxious, irritated mess. Not exactly what I need. AND, I was just given a revised job offer, originally meant to be part-time my new job offer is for a full-time position...one that actually pertains to what I want to do after I have a Masters, mastered. Not just a job either, but one I really REALLY wanted! The problem is that while the employee is ready to quit and leave, I harbor major guilt over abandoning my friends and boss. I've discovered that's the problem about having a job you love, you can't just nonchalantly walk to the back and tell em "thanks, but I believe I'm done here". I have actually shed big, sad, crocodile tears at the mere thought of having to tell them "these next two weeks will need to be my last two". I feel guilty, ungrateful, irresponsible, and half-crazy. *sigh* But I am writing it out here, hoping for some kind of release. Maybe if I write this I will not cry half as much tomorrow when I try to explain my thought process and needs to his confused and worried face.

Or maybe I'll get lucky, and find out I don't mean half as much to him. Maybe he'll just say "alright. two weeks", turn and go on about his business. Then I could move on about mine.

...........except I think that would be much, much worse.......

Mongolia Pictures

I can't figure out how to add this to my sidebar here, so instead I'm just posting the link....here are all 379 Mongolia Pictures, should you care to look!

http://picasaweb.google.com/kissykeikocakes/Mongolia2009#

Post-Mongolia

So....since making it through the 30+ hours of travel back from Mongolia, I have had no luck beating the jet-lag blues. Perhaps some Ambien would have been a good thing...I have been using the 'NyQuil' approach, but am having trouble staying asleep through the night. Today I couldn't fall asleep until 8am (yes) and woke up at 4pm. Blerg!

Sadly enough...I find myself missing Mongolia. Or our experience there. I feel a little hollow and purpose-less without a daily agenda and 15 other people to share it with. *shrug* Odd. I really, really want to go back and make it some semi-regular part of my life. Somehow.

I've been a lot quieter since getting back. (this is truly shocking) I've felt like blogging, and reading, and journaling....sitting in silence and thinking. I finally called my mother today, but other than that the only person I've felt like talking to is Adam. Maybe because I don't want to break the trip's spell?

My house in little Mexico has never seemed so glamorous and inviting as after this venture to Mongolia---with tiny hard beds, bad water, lack of plumbing, lack of electricity, and no Adam! My bed has been a wondrous hideaway for my aching, confused body these past days...trying to figure out "what time is it?" and "where am I?".

I am happy to be home. Very happy. But, I miss Mongolia.

Don't tell.
PK

Blerg

I have accomplished nothing today. Yesterday looked like this "a hair cut"....today was "post office". Blerg. I have absolutely no desire to go to work at Piccolo Mondo, mostly because I'll telling them that my time there has come to an end and the following weeks will be my last there. :( I'll be happy to be done working there, but I feel really guilty quitting....I've worked there just short of 3 years, and my boss has been I-N-C-R-E-D-B-L-E but it really is time to go. I just dread telling him that.....and all my friends I work with....

Ick. It makes my chest hurt thinking about it.



Anxiety stinks.

Just two more weeks....