A Little Bit of Mama Mourning

Yesterday was (in theory, if I can hold strong) the last day I will nurse Maeve. And as ready as I am to have myself to myself, if I think about it for more than a second I find a catch in my throat and my eyes begin to water. Let's just hope that's hormones settling and not a long-lasting effect. I love watching Maeve grow into this sweet, smart little girl. Our talkative toddler who loves to run and climb, loves doggies and trees and books: but man oh man how I mourn the loss of her babyhood with each same step. 

Ironic, isn't it? 

We made it nearly sixteen months nursing, and considering what an awful start she and I had with it and the struggle it took to make it work I am proud that we got this far. My goal was to make it a year and then we'd see. When a year came and went at the end of September it just didn't feel time yet and we kept going; slowly shifting to just nursing in the mornings. As most mamas can tell you though, morning nursings seem to be the sweetest, quietest, most perfect of moments with your babe. My normally busy bee lays still and quiet, strokes my cheek and twirls my hair. *sigh* Afterwards it's a jump and a hop and a million babbling words and laughter and the stillness of the day evaporates.  

I knew it was time to wean when my anxiety began to peak again (I can't take my medication while nursing/pregnant), and knowing I had hit a plateau at baby-weight loss for several months now I decided we would wean soon. That was almost two months ago. I've set several "this is it" goals, but when the morning came I just couldn't make myself do it. Yesterday,(yet another goal) felt different. I savored our morning and talked to Maeve about how this was our last time to nurse. More for me that for her really. I tried to study her face, her fiery curly tickling my skin, her tiny fingers curling my hair round and round and her smiles peaking round at me when we would lock eyes. And then came today: today was hard. Hard to say "No, thank you. All done nursing, would you like a cuppie of milk?" Hard to lose that morning snuggle, the only stillness of the day. Hard to recognize she's a toddler now, and not my little baby. When did that happen? How do you witness and marvel at all these changes taking place and still become winded at the realization that time has passed and things will never be like they once were. That there is no freezing in time and clinging to a moment, only pictures and memory. 

I keep thinking of a piece of advice a friend wrote me when we were pregnant with Maeve. A mother of three girls, the older two teenagers now, she wrote, "Never let yourself become irritated with night feedings, the strange hours, having to put them in your bed. At 3am remember, this will only last a year or two, and then it's gone. There will come a day they can do it on their own, they won't want to climb in your bed, and they'll want their space. At 3am, try and enjoy it, try to remember this is fleeting." And I did, I tried to remember at 3am, "this beautiful creature is mine to love!" and I tried to study her features and memorize every feeling. It didn't always work, and many nights I was mad to see 3am again, but I feel like I mostly remember the beauty and love behind 3am. That's how I want to try and enter every stage of parenthood, and marriage in my life. To memorize how everyone looks, and feels and the love and pride in the room and remembering in those inconvenient moments, "it won't always be like this." 

Happy Holidays

Merry Christmas from the "O" Family

Adam, Kaitlin, & Maeve

Our year has been a busy whirlwind of activity; so busy we didn't even write a letter!

 But a quick update about our family would be to say: 

Adam spent the last fifteen months recruiting for a staffing company in the DFW area and just made the move to an internal HR recruiter for a nearby company. He will be working across the street from his good friend Mitchell--they already have weekly lunch plans lined up. He is brewing more than ever---Half-Bath Brewery is going strong! As I type this, he is writing up a very complex recipe to try when we get home; a Smoking Dubbel Barrel. His brewing means our fridge is always full of new concoctions (we never arrive at parties or dinners empty-handed), friends are always piling into our tiny town home to brew, bottle and taste-test, and our downstairs half-bath is barely accessible as his equipment multiplies with each passing holiday! 

Maeve is a walker and a talker. Ever our "do-it-myself-thank-you" girl, she is quick to run off and do things on her own so long as she can see us trailing behind. She's been walking (and quickly there-after running) since shortly after her first birthday and has been talking non-stop since as well. She has recently begun saying "bless you" when you (or the dog, she's not picky) sneeze or cough, likes to tell you food is "delicious!" and will periodically announce "I LOVE you!". Though, admittedly, it sounds more like "I lob twchoo" She is in love with our Boston Terrier, Dutchess and is convinced they are soul mates  We constantly find her in Dutchess's bed reading books with her, trying to pick her up and giving her hugs and kisses. She also loves reading and copying just about anything Adam & I do; especially pushing the cart at the grocery store. One day (in the far, far future) she'll make a great big sister, no doubt. 

And then there is me! I continue to stay home with Maeve and have also been teaching ballet for my own dance program, Wonderfully Made Dance since last May. I teach three days a week, and have students ranging from pre-school through adult and I LOVE it!! I am so enjoying sharing the passion of my heart with friends and strangers alike and seeing them really learn, grow and fall in love with ballet too! If you're ever in DFW and want to give plies a try....well, you know where to find me! 

Happy Holidays & Happy New Year from The "O"s!

 We wish you love, luck and happiness in 2013! 

12-12-12

So, while I am nearly a week late in posting, I tried to capture our day on the once a century date! Originally I thought we'd do something really special to remember: eat something in twelves, make a time capsule, do a craft. And then I remembered Maeve is only fourteen months old and our day went a lot more like: read a lot of 'ooks, play with our babies, and driving around in our cozy coupe. 

So, excuse the normalcy of our 12-12-12 pictures, but I still wanted to capture the day for my sweet babe. Can I tell you just how awesome she is? We're running all over the place and up to over 45 words. Her favorite thing to say right now is "oh reeeeeally!" She's a talking machine and it's H-I-L-A-R-I-O-U-S! 

 In and out and in and out of her little house door. 

 Playing a little tune on her piano.

 Ahem, please excuse that bad case of curly-girl bedhead.

 Carrying around "baBYYY!!"

Maeve and her best bud.

I adore this silly girl!

Bell Ringing

A friend of ours through church always organizes a day of bell ringing for the Salvation Army. For every hour of volunteering the Salvation Army is able to feed an additional forty people. We haven't rung in the past, but decided to give it a try this year. I figured we'd trade off chasing our little running elf and the hour would fly by. 

And then I had to teach a makeup class. Ooops. 

So, Adam braved it alone with miss thing strapped to his chest in their matching Christmas red. He's attributing their 70% success rate to his well-timed bell ringing...and to Little Red's back-bends of "Hi!!! Helllllo! Hi!", waves and kisses blown to strangers.

Wouldn't you donate to a great cause, if this lil bit was asking you? 

Snippets

Greetings from the least wintery December we've seen in awhile here in Texas. Today is a shivery 70*, thanks to a cold front that moved through last night. Yesterday, 82*. Let me remind you that yesterday was also December 3rd. On a fluke day last week we had enough breeze to warrant Miss Maeve's sweet little beret. 

The rest of the week this is more true to our wardrobe choices...

 I love her sweet little curls!!

 "Yay!"

 Chasing "Titri" (Kitri) 

 Our big girl is talking more and each day. She's up to just over 30 words. Yesterday she shocked Adam and me by exclaiming "Bless You!" TWICE when I sneezed! The first time it happened she was a little muffled and I thought I misheard her, but the second time it was clear as a bell. The friends we were with even whipped around to look at her, crazy! I think that's one of my favorite things about motherhood is seeing all these amazing things she learns, and watching her become a little person. 

 My two loves at the park.

 The month before Maeve's birthday, we tried sliding for the first time and little miss landed on her face. Needless to say, for awhile anytime we got close to a slide she would freak out. To my delight, since walking, she has fallen in love them. Down we go, over and over, and over. And occasionally we scramble at the bottom, hoping to defy gravity and move straight up the plastic wonder. 

My funny honey during bathtime. We call this her "stank-face." ;)

Turkey Time

Thanksgiving this year had us in Corpus for our frousin holiday. Oddly enough, with two bouncing one year olds and a mischievous three year old, it felt like one of our more relaxing years. Shannon and I went waaaaay overboard with all the food and dessert. Between the two of us our spread included; a beautiful turkey, wild rice casserole, sweet potato casserole, mashed potatoes, green beans, carrot casserole, spinach souffle, cranberry-apple sauce, spicy pumpkin stuffing, two different pumpkin pies, pumpkin cheesecake, apple pie, buttermilk pie, faux-pecan pie and about 70 cookies. 

Yes. For four adults and three toddlers. On the upside, it was all yummy and we didn't cook again the whole four days! Our time was spent at the beach, taking Christmas card pictures, playing with silly girls, late night conversations, puzzles and scrabble for the guys and even a late night movie get-away for the mamas! 

Our holiday in pictures: 

Thanksgiving morning at the beach!

Dads with two jumping girls. Alice Virginia much preferred her mama and digging.

Me and my Maevey

Believe it or not, this was the best picture we could get out of three tries. Oh well!

Observing the work in process.

Working in the kitchen with the girls.

                                    A very good trip, and we were sad to see it end. It was nice to come home and sleep in our own beds though, and I had almost forgetten we were all decorated. Driving up, and walking in the house was twinkling and even spells like pine. Yay Christmas!! I've been craving that sweet potato casserole like mad though....it may make it in to next weeks meals....

Happy Halloween

Happy Halloween from our little band of storybook lovers to yours! 

 We spent the evening at a local church carnival with games, animals, bounce houses, and so-much-candy!

 Little Red running through the woods with her basket of goodies. 

While Maeve didn't have the love for cotton candy her Mama does, she did think it was hilarious to feed it to me, giant clumps at a time.  

That's right, she walks! While in DC she went from the few steps she'd been doing for a month, and just took off. She spent all of Halloween walking and hasn't stopped since!