Poor, Sad Dutchie

Maeve's fur sister, and very favorite dog, Dutchess gets a lot of attention these days. She gets dressed up with necklaces and crowns, pulled up to play ring around the rosie, read to, you name it. The other day Maeve kept bringing out tissue and consoling Dutchess; she insisted the dog was crying.

Snippets and Phrases and Moments

I keep thinking in snippets and phrases this weekend. Saturday, we attended the funeral of a beautiful woman who was the sister of a dear friend of ours. Married and only a few months older than me, she recently lost a very surprising and very fast battle with Melanoma and slipped into the night. She was the kind of woman I hoped to make a true friend. A big, gummy smile, soft eyes with a glean and stories and plans for adventure. Her service was hard. Hard because she was only 27. Hard because she was married to her young love. Hard because she was someone's daughter and sister and wife and hadn't yet the chance to be someone's mother. Hard because death is painful, and confusing and maddening. Hard because I miss my Nana and she too had a beautiful, warm smile she wore all the time. 

At the end of Christina's service one of the pastors gave a prayer of Thanksgiving in closing. He spoke of giving thanks for the moments we were given by her: road trips. the perfect cup of coffee, late night conversations, her first word, first step, first days of school and every Christmas morning. Every moment spent with Jacob...He went on, but there I'm stuck; the words playing like an audio loop. I spent last night re-watching Nana's memorial service and meditating on the words that have stuck with me there too this last month. Like how we felt she was "love personified." What am I? What story am I telling with the way I live my life? Am I counting the moments? Am I ever thankful? Thankful for Maeve's exhausting requests to nap with me because she won't always want to snuggle? Thankful for even the most uneventful moments with Adam, even if it's just chatter about our day during a bath? Thankful for the opportunity to pass on my passion to those in my community? Thankful for family and friends and family who are friends and friends who are practically family? Am I really thankful for my moments? Are you? Are you love personafied, grateful for the moments your "dear friend" Jesus has shared with you? 

Nana's Eulogy (Kaitlin's)

 

 My Nana was love.  

 The last time I saw Nana, was during our surprise visit for Mother’s Day. There was new life in her when she met and held Maeve. They were on the floor rolling balls & playing paddy cake, tasting new fruits and listening to the wind chimes. One of our last mornings, she snuck in and took our early bird out of the room. When I finally woke up I could hear her voice, carrying from outside. She was talking to Maeve: pointing out different sounds, singing songs and showing her the soft peals of the wind chimes. My heart breaks that my daughter won’t grow with memories of the woman who helped form her mother. That she’ll never remember the way Nana’s laugh was deep and strong, the particular way she’d say “Oooh” when she was thinking, her soft, warm smell, how surprisingly strong her hugs were, and how intensely she loved. But I know pieces of my beautiful grandmother are scattered in us. In my mother, my uncles, my brother and my cousins. And pieces are hidden there in Maeve too.

 So when I’m missing her terribly, instead of weeping for my loss: I’ll try to make a perfect batch of cream cheese cookies and never even taste the batter, I’ll be the keeper of hidden treasures, pulling out secret prizes for those I love. I’ll try and grow the perfect jungle garden, something to amaze children in their world of make believe.  I’ll make sure I’m really listening to those I love and I’ll make sure everyone I meet feels loved by me. I’ll look at my husband with adoration and devotion and make sure Maeve knows that it’s all because a beautiful woman with salt & pepper hair taught me too.

Love, Kaitlin

Adulthood by the Cards

Making use of our new zoo membership.

It's funny the things that make me feel like an adult. You would think the little girl we have running around, whom we are raising and make important life decisions for, would have sealed this but it didn't. No it seems tiny badges of adulthood for me mostly come in the form of membership cards. Back in January we became Costco members. Checking out the first time, carts piled high with bagels, applesauce and enough butter and Cascade to last the year, I felt like an adult. Heck, I felt like my mother. I'm pretty sure I even whispered to Adam, "Look, it's we're real adults!" Shortly after, we added the Target debit card since it's practically the only place we shop & you get additional savings with no added costs. You know who collects grocery store benefit cards? 

Moms. 

Mama and Maevey.

Last week another card of the truly grownup variety slipped into my wallet. We are official Zoo members. You hear that? We go to the Zoo so much it made more sense to just buy a membership. Before Maeve the last time I had gone to the Zoo was sometime in San Diego when I was a teenager. I realize this is not abnormal, that it eventually gets ticked off of most mother's activity lists. But there was something very weird about knowing we were the kind of people who are Zoo members. Who do our shopping on Fridays at Costco and Target, and pop into the Zoo at least once a week. Who meal plan, and coupon cut, check the news and weather forecasts. Attend birthday parties and arrange play dates. Compare doctors and schools and neighborhoods and cars.  

Daddy & Maevey.

Adulthood has snuck into our lives.

Nana

 

Hi!! Remember us? The "O"s? I apologize for popping my head up for a brief "hello", and then promptly disappearing again! 

Life.Has.Been.Crazy.

My nana has been in the hospital for about nine weeks now; the majority of her time has been in the ICU. She had a heart attack, and her body became septic. At one point she coded twice. May and June have been really, really hard for my family. My parents were there at the time, and my mother has stayed on. She too is sick from treatment she's receiving, and is now trying to manage my grandmother's recovery & my pappy's every day life with help from her brothers. I haven't felt like updating.  Writing about days at the zoo and Mother's Day Out when we're suffering such wounds in our hearts seemed wrong and off-putting. But, she's doing better, continually turning corners and continuing to give us hope. She is also one for us to keep living, and loving on she & Pappy's "Little Red". Each week Maeve and I have made videos to send, taken many, many pictures and mailed some fancy finger paintings off to Hawaii in the hopes of letting them know how much we love them. I suppose it also helps us in some way; letting us feel like we're doing something beyond our prayers of healing.  As if each Maevey smile and squeaky "I love you, Nana-Pappy" I record will pour out into the doctor's healing hands and further power them to heal. 

My Nana & Pappy at our visit last year.

Nana playing on the floor with her great-granddaughter.  

Mother's Day last year. Four Fisher woman.

If you would please include my Nana in your prayers. Prayers that she continues to heal and strengthen, and that she will not lose her twinkly eyes. I love her too much for that. 

Run, run, JUMP!

I promise a real blog, with real updates later. For now...

Singing' and Dancin'

You may have seen it on facebook, but I have to share here too. The other day, while waiting for Adam to run out of the store, I let Maeve out of her car seat and up front to sit with me. We were jamming along to her favorite cd, a mix of pop songs re-done by their artists and Sesame Street characters to have child messages and she started singing and dancing along. She does this All.The.Time! Usually, she's in her car seat  or stops when she sees the camera, but I was able to get her this time!! In a week where I really, really need smiles she does one better and gives me laughs instead. 

Our Overpasses Are Cooler Than Yours

Play dates are one of the best parts of being a stay-at-home mom. Your children get to see other kiddos, run around, and explore all while you catch up on the daily ins and outs with your friends. It makes me feel more like my pre-baby self to share an afternoon with another mama, and maybe a coffee or croissant. 

(Oh Central Market how you make the best play dates!!) 

Playing in some of the fountains that are scattered through the park. 

Yesterday Maeve and I trekked out to Dallas to see my friend, and Mongolia roomie, Jenny & her little bit Haven. Don't judge, but we've only been able to see them once since Miss H came along. I know, I know! You'd be amazed how far away everything seems in the same metro-plex!! Haven was a quiet, wide eyed observer most of our time, a tiny thing just like her mama and daddy! Maeve, on the other hand, ran around like a crazy woman and downed most of the sno-cone I had planned on us sharing. We met up at Klyde Warren Park in Dallas and it is SO neat! They built this huge park on top of an overpass in the middle of downtown. Fountains are everywhere, a futuristic playground, book and newspaper carts, pianos and food trucks---AWESOME! What is not so awesome is that it's fairly new, and so are its tiny baby trees. There was practically no shade to hide little people under; especially little people who are too small still for sunscreen. 

The lunching ladies. Look how TINY that sweet girl is!

The children's playground.

The company and the park were a blast and I had to literally pry Maeve up from the water when our meter was about to run out. AND we even made it home in time for naps! Yippee!! It's funny, I so often feel like I have no idea what I'm doing, that I know no more than I did when Maeve first came along. Being around a new little girly-whirly reminded me--we're not there anymore. Sure, we're learning new things about each other, and battling new battles, but the newness of it all has changed and I like to think I'll feel a little more confident with my next baby when the time comes along. To remember I basically camped out most of the first year. I was overwhelmed when we would tackle play dates before she hit about a year. I am thoroughly impressed Jenny!! You go Mama! 

She really tried to climb this. Really, really. *sigh*

Mondays can often be the roughest day for us, with looooooong weekends and a day back to 'normal' but this was a beautiful way to start the week. So glad we got to see you Proffitt girls!!! 

You've Been Bubbled

Beware the Bubble Pirate Red!

Last night, during bath time, I walked in to find Maeve covering everyone in layers & layers of bubble masks, herself included. For awhile she had a bubble eye-patch and beard, while smearing bubbles onto Adam's head as high as she could pile, and scrubbing them into his beard.

Love!

  Dutchess, who usually comes around the tub to see if there are any wet toes to be licked, was caught in the bubble trap too! Don't pity her too much though, after all the bubbles are tear-free, and she kind of brought it upon herself. 

After using every last bubble in the tub to decorate, Maeve dutifully began rinsing everyone off with her pink cuppie, making sputtering noises all the while! And yes, my floor was very, very wet. ;)

Dancing Queens

Several of my teenage students for Wonderfully Made Dance are also on their high school's color guard team. After football season is through, these girls and their teams compete in a series of shows: group, ensemble and solo. One of my sweet girls, Madison, asked me to choreograph her solo for competition, and I was both thrilled and humbled! This particular competition is for a grade, and will decide whether or not they letter for the year.
Eep! 

Some of my favorite dancers!

I've had the music on around the house most of our days and, fortunately, Maeve LOVES it! She's begun singing snippets (in her own way) and when the music comes to a close will ask, "'gen? 'gen?" Thursday night, after dinner, Maeve suddenly climbed out of her chair and began dancing to the solo music. Plies upon plies, and light twirls! Once I pulled out my camera she slowed down quite a bit, but kept going with some coaxing. When I stopped taking video, Adam re-started the music and we girls went dancing in the living room. That sweet baby girl made my year!!! Ohhh to see her love dancing is one of the best!!!  You'll have to forgive my very loud Mama voice, I was holding the camera right by my face. 

Maddie let me take a video of one of our rehearsals awhile back, which I plan to post here. Her piece is dance, saber and flag; the latter of which she is marking in rehearsals. I am so proud of this girl!
 First year of dance, and first year of color guard! Gooo Maddie!!!

Corpus Cousins

This past week, Maeve and I trekked the seven hours down to Corpus Christi to visit my cousin Shannon and her sweet, growing family. As I've mentioned, many, many times, I feel lucky to have a family I can count as one of my best friends. The day the Navy transfers them out of driving distance will be so sad; I've loved all our visits these last five years, especially when we're pregnant! Anyhow, Shannon had come up for a quick ladies weekend the week before Easter, mainly for conquering JBF and Ikea and for late night talks. (A post for another day!) She graciously invited us down to help "nest" the house for their third little girl, due to make her appearance in about seven weeks! 

I love this picture from our afternoon of water in yard.  

We crammed so much into a week, it is nearly unbelievable. I knew I was tired, but didn't know just how much until I came home and was dragging over the weekend. Four hours of sleep for a week, and chasing three busy girls is no joke! We spent mornings running errands and solidifying ideas for the house, afternoons   playing in the sun, evenings projecting and late night eating Cheetos and chocolate while talking (we're some of the best talkers around) and watching my new favorite "Call the Midwife". (Go watch it, NOW!) Our girls are an interesting blend of their mothers and fathers; so sweet to see where they overlap and we can see how they might too be kindred spirits. Maeve and Allie, our three-months-apart redheads are both nurturing mamas. Since they were not yet one they've carted their babies around: kissing, patting, squeezing, loving. They're quick to give hugs, to say "I LOVE you!" and spent the week finding each other's lovies and returning them to their owner. Maeve and Meggie share a quick, adventurous spirit. When Maeve was about a year, right before she was really walking, we were all at a pumpkin patch together when Meggie began quickly scaling a pumpkin pile. Quick as a flash, Maeve began following her cousin up the pile, giggling all the while. So, it was no surprise when Meggie would bounce off the couch, or run ahead Maeve's eyes would gleam and up she'd climb or run. Sometimes she was even the one ahead! Shannon and I joke that one day, in the not to distant future, the "M"s will be engaging in all sorts of rambunctious activities while Alice Virginia stands back reminding them all the while, "I just don't think this is wise." 

Any guess as to who stayed with mamas and who ran ahead? ;)

You can hardly make this one out, but it's all three girls chasing seagulls together! 

There was still the usual childhood tensions, but they were fleeting. Most of the week was giggles, and hugs, and bed jumping. (Something little Maeve was the ring-leader for.) Each morning, and after each nap, Maeve would wake up asking for "Maggie" & "ALlie". Even on the way home, and into yesterday she kept cocking her head to side and asking about them. :) Makes me so happy; I really hope we're able to foster their friendship, and help it grow. We made memories on a marshy nature walk, running on the board walk. A girls afternoon at the beach, still a little too chilly, all of them begging to stay in the water. The toddlers got a special "big sister is at school" treat, going to the aquarium to chase all the sea creatures and declare their love for each fish, turtle, seashell and dolphin in their little matching outfits. I love those girls so sincerely, my little "niece" cousins. and it melts my heart to feel their sweet, unconditional love. Each morning Meggie (3yr) would check, "You and Maeve will be here today. I want you to stay until Wednesday. You'll have to go home to teach tippy-toes and see Adam. BUT you're coming back when the new baby comes, right?" 

Yes Meggie, we stayed and played and we'll be back. :)

Easter

Happy Easter! 

We had a full, full, full day in celebration of Easter blessings. We were up late with friends helping the Easter bunny hide eggs for their children, so we ended up having to miss our morning service because Maeve slept in much later than usual. A tip for the other new mamas out there, if it's 10pm and your 18mo old hasn't slept much, and keeps stealing chocolate, take the chocolate back. Do not accuse your husband of stealing her holiday joy and allow her to indulge, because when you are still trying at 11:30pm to get her to sleep and she's screaming like a crazy person you will know you were wrong. You will have to swallow your pride and admit this, because you were a little snarky earlier, and it will not be pleasant. When in doubt, just say no to chocolate! (Unless it's in the pantry, while your toddler is watching Sesame Street.) So thanks to my parenting, we were up late at night and in the morning, which meant a delay in our celebrations. I was especially sad to miss service as this year it was in the park, and one of my baby ballerinas performed in service. So proud Novella!! Maeve was ecstatic to see the Easter Bunny had come and in lieu of candy (Really, what the heck was I thinking?!) brought her an Elmo, chalk, hair bows, bubbles and stickers. If we haven't spoken lately, you may not know that Elmo, next to our dog Dutchess, is Maeve's nearest and dearest. I am not exaggerating when I say he and the dog are the first things Maeve asks for in the morning. Thirty-six hours of labor and I am outranked by a puppet and a mischievous Boston Terrier. No surprise, Maevey almost didn't see the other goodies her basket had to hold for all her cooing over "baaaby ELMO!!!" 

We skedaddled and made it in time for our church brunch at 10am, and Easter egg hunt-Maeve's first since she was only six months at last years. I was worried she wouldn't get the concept, or would sit and open each egg as she found it like I had heard other children did. Nope. She went as fast as her little suede-booted feet would take her searching for "colors--eggds" to put in her basket. Maybe it was Adam's pre-hunt pep talk, or the sweet pre-teens who were pointing eggs out to her, hidden in the grass, away from the big kids. Either way, she gathered up about twenty eggs for her basket. Twenty sweet-stuffed plastic treasures that I was too traumatized to let her indulge in after Saturday night. Maybe I'll find a time for them over the week. 

We didn't make it home until 2:45pm and piled into bed for a family nap. Just Adam, Maeve, Elmo, cuppie, Dutchess, three books, and me in our, eh-hem, full-size bed. The perfect cap for a fun day of memories, we took our little family on our first bike ride together. Before I got pregnant with Maeve we were riding our bikes a lot, especially Adam who actually rode his to work! The problem for me was that children's seats, and wagons were so pricey! I had found a deal of a bicycle seat a few weeks ago at a JBF sale, but we realized later it was missing key pieces....woops! Luckily, my good friend Michelle was in the process of cleaning out their garage and had a bunch of wonderful hand-me-downs for us. Among them was a bike trailer that can fit several small children!! Yippee! We attached it to my bike and tonight Adam, Maeve, Dutchess and I looped the neighborhood before bedtime. All in all, about 3.5mi, not too shabby! 

The weather has been so nice all weekend; high 70s with cool breeze and slightly overcast. I feel like we need to be outside constantly to enjoy it all before we're back to 112* and 90% humidity!!

Happy Easter from the O-ladies!!

Happy Valentine's Day to My Love

In loving you I have a husband to look to for encouragement & leadership, someone to invest in. 

In loving you I have a beautiful redheaded sprite with her daddy's curiosity and her mama's mischief.

In loving you I have a best friend to adventure with, to confide in, to wonder with. 

In loving you I have a lover to hold, to kiss, to know, to get lost in.

In loving you I have the man that makes me laugh until I cry, rub out all the sore and kill all the spiders.

In loving you I have years of mistakes, forgiven; true gifts of God's grace and yet I still have not the understanding at all. Your faith in me and in God works me wonders.

In loving you I have a life of the Renaissance; beer brewing, wood-working, violin-playing, philosophies recited. 

In loving you I have the freedom to dream, and dream big; someone to make me be God's creation. 

In loving you I have a Maevey-Daddy; a laugher, a tickler, a reader, a silly-monster chaser. In your love for her I grow deeper in love still. 

In loving you I have love, life and joy. I have hope, wonder and excitement. 

The days are long, but the years are short and I count them by the second. 

Happy Valentine's Day my love, thank you for loving me. 

Fevers, Cough, & Cries---Aka, the Flu

Well, I fear I may be able to soon set my calendar by Maeve's getting sick. Aside from a case of Roseola when she was about six months old, she really never got sick until she hit a year. Then came Hand-Foot-and-Mouth and a month or so later, Croup, a month later some upper respiratory infection and now, here we are. About four weeks later we have ourselves the flu. Yippee! 

Playing peek-a-boo through a dog toy. 

She developed a cough around Sunday night, and a fever that started Monday and peaked at 104.7* last night. I consider myself a fairly competent and confident mama until my child is sick or bleeding. It drives Adam crazy. One time in particular she had hit her mouth on the tile at Target and was bleeding everywhere; the yin to my yang Adam remained calm and called the doctor (oh yeaaaah) while I kept exclaiming "Call one of our MOMS!!" Hey, they're the experts here, I just play one during the day. Anyhow, I took Miss Maeve in today and our suspicions were confirmed, we've got one miserably sick & contagious cutey. She still managed to charm the nurses and doctors, chatting them up while they checked her out. We've been really working on "No, thank you." instead of "NOOOO" followed by a swat. When she didn't want the nurses to look in her ears she kept saying "No tampk you, no tampk you!" while swatting them away. Eh, we're getting there.

 I was proud of myself for some mama creativity when it came to entertaining my wee one while keeping her at rest. (That girl and this mama can only do so many episodes of Sesame Street before we start to go mad.)  Yesterday after a particularly messy and unsuccessful lunch Maeve was covered in all manners of food and I was already praying for 5:30 to come at light speed. I stripped her down and enticed her up the stairs with promises of one of her favorites- a "bathff!" Once I got her in though, it occurred to me I could really stretch the time out by letting her enjoy the finger paints she got in her stocking, using the tub as a play-pen of sorts. I grabbed the paints out of our craft closet, squirted little primary colored piles around her toes and taped several pieces of paint-worthy paper against the side of the tub. 

It-was-magic! 

This kept her occupied FOREVER! I am so proud (perhaps too much so) to say this was not even a pinterest tip, and I will totally be using it again and again. When we (read, 'mama') were all done painting I simply peeled the tape off and stuck the paintings to the back of the door to dry, ran some water and wiped the tub down. Then, as promised, Maeve also got a long, cool, bath to drop her temperature that had creeped back up as we played. Which was good, because she covered herself pretty well in reds, blues and greens while playing finger-paint Picasso. 

Laughing at Dutchess trying to drink bath water. 

Where's Maeve?

Peek-a-Boo! Look at those sick little eyes. Poor, sweet baby!